How to Teach Your Toddler Manners: 5 Montessori Grace & Courtesy Activities to Try

Why teach grace & courtesy?

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What is Montessori grace & courtesy?

An education in grace and courtesy teaches your child how to treat others with respect, kindness, and thoughtfulness. This includes direct actions, such as politely asking for a glass of milk instead of whining, as well as less direct actions that demonstrate consideration, like removing your shoes indoors.

This kind of social-emotional learning is not automatic. However, with regular practice, your child can develop the skills they need to build healthy relationships and function gracefully in all kinds of social situations.

Everyday grace and courtesy skills include things like:

• • Saying “please” and “thank you”
  • Greeting others and saying goodbye
  • Hanging up your coat 
  • Using a quiet voice at the library
  • Pushing in your chair when you leave the table
  • Tidying up after yourself
  • Washing your hands before a meal
  • Offering others a turn when you’re done playing
  • And much more!

While your toddler certainly won’t master all these skills in a day, they can start learning the basics now, no matter how little they are.  

How to teach your child manners: 8 simple tips

1 | Use visual reminders: Help your child remember what to do in different situations with simple visual cues like photos, posters, or picture cards. For example: How to set the table, hang up your jacket, or wash your hands.

2 | Teach expectations: Don’t assume your child knows how to behave in a specific situation or environment. Clearly explain how you would like them to behave before you go somewhere – “At the library, we use a soft voice like this.” Then, practice, practice, practice!

3 | Try role-playing: Create memorable experiences that teach good manners. Have a tea party with your little one, modeling grace and courtesy skills like saying please and thank you, sharing a meal politely, and tidying up any spills. What other scenarios can you role-play together?

4 | Encourage responsibility: Give your child age-appropriate jobs that make them feel like a valuable member of the family. Let them serve themself family-style at meals, put their dirty clothes in the laundry hamper, or use a lightweight vacuum to pick up dust and crumbs. 

5 | Break it down: Picking up new skills can be overwhelming for little ones, so break each skill down into small, manageable chunks. Is your child shy when greeting others? Start by teaching them to wave, and then gradually add more steps, like saying hello, asking “How are you?” or offering a hug.

6 | Lead by example: Children copy what they see, so make sure you’re consistently modeling grace and courtesy. Let them see you greet your neighbors warmly, apologize when you make a mistake, and treat others with respect. Even little things matter, like putting your cart away at the grocery store – your little one is watching and learning.

7 | Practice, practice, practice: Learning manners and social skills takes time and practice. Give your child plenty of opportunities to play with other kids and experience new situations that test their skills.

8 | Be realistic and encouraging: Your child will never be perfectly behaved – we’re not aiming for blind obedience or perfection here. The goal is to give your little one the tools and knowledge they need to navigate the world with grace. Celebrate their successes and help them learn from their mistakes.

5 Montessori grace & courtesy activities for toddlers

Ready to start introducing grace and courtesy lessons to your toddler? Here are a few fun ways to help your little one practice grace and courtesy skills at home and out “in the real world” too…

1 | Taking turns

Practice at home: Model how to take turns. Roll or toss a ball back and forth. Build a block tower together, taking turns adding one block at a time. Bake muffins, taking turns: After you measure the flour, let your child pour it into the bowl.

Out and about: At the playground, practice waiting for a turn on the slide. When you’re done swinging, offer someone else a turn. Participate in group activities, like music or gymnastics, where you take turns passing around a large drum or jumping into a foam pit. 

2 | Ordering food at a restaurant

Practice at home: Role-play. Before dinner, draw or print a simple menu with 2-3 options for your child to choose from. Use pictures. Model how to politely order a meal (using toddler-friendly language): “Cheese pizza, please.” Then, let your child try.

Out and about: Go to a child-friendly restaurant, like a local diner or Starbucks. If possible, let your child order their own meal. Help them rehearse before they order. If this is too challenging, simply model what to say while your child observes.

3 | Cleaning up

Practice at home: Make tidying up part of your everyday routine. Teach your child how to wipe up spills and where to throw away trash. Play cleaning games, like setting a timer and racing to see how many toys you can put away before the timer goes off. Offer lots of positive reinforcement!

Out and about: Go to the park or beach and pick up litter. Bring wipes with you when dining out at casual restaurants, like Starbucks or Panera, so your child can easily tidy up after they eat. Practice recycling and composting in public.

You may also like: How to Introduce Practical Life to Your Toddler

4 | Interrupting someone politely

Practice at home: Talk about good reasons to interrupt someone (for example, if your child is hurt or needs to go potty) and when it’s better to wait. Encourage your toddler to say “excuse me,” or place a hand on your hand, if they need to interrupt. Role-play, taking turns interrupting each other, or use dolls to show your child what to do in different scenarios.

Out and about: Model polite behavior in public by using phrases like “excuse me” and waiting for acknowledgment before asking a question. Help your child practice in a friendly and comfortable environment, like Grandma’s house, offering plenty of support and guidance.

5 | Expressing gratitude

Practice at home: Model gratitude in your everyday life. Say thank you when your child shares a toy with you or helps out around the house. Introduce the concept of gratitude by reading picture books like Thank You Body, Thank You Heart or Daniel Tiger’s Thank You Day.

Out and about: Help your child create a thank-you card for someone special, such as a teacher, friend, or family member. Encourage them to say thank you when someone helps them or treats them with kindness. Nonverbal gestures, like smiling, waving, or giving a high five, are a few more great ways to express gratitude!

More grace & courtesy skills to practice (by age):

18 months – 2 years

• • Waving hello and goodbye to friends and family
  • Signing “please” and “thank you”
  • Covering your mouth and nose when sneezing or coughing
  • Washing your face in the mirror
  • Combing or brushing your hair
  • Helping put away toys or materials after using them
  • Helping water plants or take care of pets
  • Using a sponge or rag to wipe up spills
  • Sweeping or vacuuming up small messes
  • Pushing your chair in when leaving the table
  • Removing your shoes before entering a home

2 – 3 years

Everything in the previous list, plus:

• • Respecting others’ personal space
  • Saying “please” when you need help or want something
  • Saying “thank you”
  • Greeting classmates and teachers
  • Waiting patiently in line without pushing
  • Preparing a simple snack
  • Helping set the table or clear dishes after a meal
  • Helping load the dishwasher
  • Taking care of your personal belongings
  • Putting dirty laundry in the hamper
  • Asking for permission before borrowing something
  • Saying “sorry” when you hurt someone or make a mistake

3 – 4 years

Everything in the previous lists, plus:

• • Introducing yourself to new people
  • Holding the door open for others
  • Offering to help carry groceries or bags
  • Helping put groceries away
  • Picking up an item that someone has dropped
  • Saying “excuse me” when walking between people
  • Asking for permission before leaving an activity
  • Waiting your turn to speak in a group conversation

When to introduce grace & courtesy skills?

Before introducing a new skill, make sure that your little one is ready to learn it. (It seems obvious, but it’s easy to forget that this is all new to them!)

Check to see whether they have the necessary basic skills to be successful. For example: Before they can feed the cat, they need to know how to scoop and pour kibble.

Here are the 3 best times to introduce a new skill…

• • When it comes up naturally in daily life
    • Your child spills their milk, so you show them how wipe up the spill
  • To prepare your child for a situation in advance
    • You practice using a quiet voice before visiting the library
  • After noticing that they’re struggling with something
    • You see that your child has a hard time asking for a turn at the park, so you practice later at home

Enjoy the journey!

When it comes to raising a kind, confident, and respectful human, grace and courtesy lessons are key. But don’t worry – helping your little one build these skills doesn’t have to be overwhelming.

Everyday life offers plenty of opportunities for your little one to practice good manners and build social skills in a fun and engaging way. So, don’t be discouraged by the occasional bumps in the road. Keep practicing these skills and watch your little one blossom. 🥰

You may also like:

• Everything You Need to Know About Montessori Parenting
• How to Introduce Practical Life to Your Toddler
• The Best Practical Life Gifts For Toddlers

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