“Follow the child.”
You’ve probably come across this piece of advice at least a few times in your Montessori journey.
But what exactly does it mean?
Basically, when we follow the child, we observe the child in a non-judgmental way and let our observations guide us. This takes trust, respect, and a whole lot of patience. But it’s so worth it.
Following the child is a key part of practicing Montessori at home, so it’s important to figure out how to apply this principle in a way that works for you and your family.
Ready to learn more? Let’s dive in!
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1 | Follow your child’s interests
Children learn best when they’re exploring something they’re interested in. So, if your toddler loves building block towers and jumping in muddy puddles, there’s no reason to force them to sit still and color!
But maybe you’re wondering, “How am I supposed to know what my child is interested in? All my toddler wants to do is run in circles all day and dump out the clean laundry onto the floor.”
The answer, naturally, is observation. Take a little bit of time each day to just watch your child. For a few minutes, don’t do anything. Just pay attention and see what your little one chooses to do.
For example…
If I notice that 2 year old Kai spends most of the day playing chase and pushing his toy cars around, that’s incredibly useful information. I can “follow the child” here by respecting Kai’s need for active play and offering him plenty of opportunities to run, jump, climb, and move around.
My observations also tell me that Kai is probably not going to be drawn toward more calm, “tabletop” activities for now. Knowing that, I’ll keep offering him opportunities to engage in a variety of activities, but I won’t sweat it if he sticks to more active games in the meantime.
Moving forward, I can also highlight his interest in toy vehicles and look for other ways to help him explore this interest. Maybe we’ll gather different kinds of wheels to explore, pull a wagon around outdoors, or take a walk together and talk about the different kinds of vehicles we see.
There’s no “wrong” answer here, as long as I’m following Kai’s lead!
When you introduce a new activity, try to gauge your child’s response to see if you’re on the right track:
- Are they interested and engaged?
- Does the activity seem to meet their needs?
- Is it the right level of difficulty: Not too easy or too hard?
Btw, don’t stress!
Please know that it’s totally okay to do an activity that flops. (I’ve worked with toddlers for a decade, and this still happens to me all the time. You’re not alone.)
At the end of the day, there’s no one “right” way to follow your child’s interests. Just make your best guess and get started!
You can read all about a day in the life of a Montessori toddler to see this process in action.
2 | Respect your child’s unique development
While most children develop skills in a fairly predictable order, every child is a little bit different. That’s not just okay, it’s expected!
In order to follow the child, it’s important to pay attention to your child’s unique development and meet them where they’re at. That might mean pushing aside your preconceived notions about what they “should” be doing and following your child’s lead instead.
For example…
Let’s talk about 15 month old Willow real quick. Although Willow was the youngest child in my toddler class at the time, she was fiercely independent and showed a huge interest in practical life work, especially cleaning. For Willow, “following the child” meant providing her with tons of opportunities to help out around the classroom.
She LOVED spraying the tables with soapy water after mealtimes, and then carefully wiping the table off with a clean rag. Whenever someone spilled food, Willow was the first to grab a broom and dustpan. And, of course, Willow absolutely loved drying off the climber after a rainstorm, bobbing around the playground in her little rain boots.
It’s pretty simple: When you notice your child repeating an activity over and over again, then you know this skill is meaningful to them. For Willow, it was cleaning. For your child, it might be climbing, pouring water, using a crayon, or something else entirely.
You can follow your child by giving them the time and space necessary to practice these skills, and – when they’re ready – helping them level up.
3 | Meet your child where they are
Honoring your child’s strengths is a great step. However, it’s important to be aware of – and respect – your little one’s limitations, too.
I once worked with a sweet 2 year old girl named Olivia who, like many toddlers, struggled with self-regulation. Unfortunately, her biggest challenge at the time was following safety rules during walks. The second she smelled fresh air, Olivia would make a break for it – dangerously close to a busy street.
To keep her safe, we had to accept that we needed to respect her limitations and adapt to them. For us, that meant (1) limiting walks to days when fewer children were present and (2) ensuring that Olivia was always holding a teacher’s hand during walks.
Every child’s needs are different
Maybe your toddler can’t safely handle small objects yet because they’re still mouthing everything. Or maybe your child is going through a throwing phase, forcing you to tuck the wooden blocks away in storage for now.
Respecting your child’s limitations doesn’t mean giving up on them. When you recognize that a situation or material is simply too challenging for your child right now, you’re actually helping set your child up for success. There’s always time to try again later when your little one is ready!
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How do you follow your child?
I’m sure there are tons of things you’re already doing every single day to follow your child! So, share your thoughts below: What do you do to “follow the child”?
Thanks for reading!
♥ Meg
Related Posts:
- The Ultimate Montessori Toy & Gift Guide for Toddlers
- How to Raise a Montessori Toddler
- A Day in the Life of a Montessori Toddler
