Getting started with Montessori at home can seem impossible…

Especially if you have a busy toddler on your hands! You want to give your child freedom to explore and be independent. But, at the same time, you really don’t want crayon all over your walls or crushed cereal all over the kitchen floor.

You might be wondering, Is there a way to raise my child the Montessori way – without losing my mind?

The short answer? Yes. 

Practicing Montessori at home doesn’t have to be overwhelming or complicated. And you don’t have to worry about being perfect, either. (Hint: There’s no such thing!)

Making a few simple changes to your lifestyle can help you raise a happy, healthy, and independent toddler the Montessori way.  

Ready to learn more? Let’s go!

Pin it now, read it later…

Note: This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may receive a small commission if you purchase anything using these links, at no additional cost to you. If you’re curious, you can click here to learn more!

How to Raise a Montessori Toddler

1 | Treat your child respectfully

This is, hands down, the most important thing you can do for your child, whether they’re 2 years old or 12. Simply put? Treat your toddler like a person.

Think about how you would like a friend to treat you. Would you like them to ignore you, talk down to you, or tease you when you’re upset? Or would you prefer for them to acknowledge you, speak kindly, and empathize with your feelings?

When you treat your child with respect, you’re teaching them how to treat others.

You’re also showing your child that you love and value them. Being treated with respect helps little ones feel safe, heard, and connected. And it isn’t rocket science, either! It does take a little extra time and patience each day. But the payoff is huge.

Practical tips to model respect:

• Say “please” and “thank you.”
• Speak calmly and kindly to your child – even when you’re frustrated with them. (This one’s hard, I know – just do your best!)
• Apologize to your child when you make a mistake.
• Give your child age-appropriate choices throughout the day.
• Empathize with your toddler’s feelings and help them cope with their emotions.
• Acknowledge your child when they ask for attention – even if it’s just to tell them you need a few more minutes to finish a phone call before you can play.
• Let them know what to expect – tell them if you need to run errands today or if it’s almost time to change their diaper. Communication is key!

2 | Follow your child’s lead

Follow the child. This is one of the core principles of Montessori. But what does it actually mean?

Well, basically, step back and give your child space. Let your toddler explore their interests and practice the skills they feel driven to practice.

This requires a lot of trust on your part.

• It means not pushing the ABCs on your toddler if they’re just not interested yet.
• It means holding off on that cute craft you saw on Pinterest because you know your toddler would rather be running, climbing, or jumping than sitting still for even a second.

That’s okay. If there’s one thing children are naturally good at, it’s learning. Given a safe environment and a supportive adult – that’s you! – you couldn’t stop your child from learning if you tried. So, try to breathe and relax a bit.

Focus on being an observer. Watch your child as they play, explore outside, or try to get themselves ready for the day. What do they love? What are they excited about? What do they want to know more about? What do they want to do for themselves? 

And – most importantly – what can you do to help them explore their interests and work toward their goals? 

Practical tips to help you “follow the child”:

• Observe your child throughout the day. What are they interested in? What skills are they working on? Take notes if it helps you keep track.
• Plan activities and experiences based on your child’s interests. Go to the train museum, try bird-watching at the park, or check out some dinosaur books from the library.
• Don’t push your child to do something they’re not interested in right now. If your toddler would rather play with puzzles and blocks than paper and crayons, let them! Trust your child to guide their own learning. 

3 | Try to embrace toddlerhood 

Toddlers can be a lot of work. They’re loud and messy. They get into everything. And they have a special fondness for the word no.

Toddlers are also amazing. They’re so much fun. They love you more than anything in the world and give the sweetest hugs. They’re constantly learning and exploring.

And that look of wonder on a toddler’s face when they see an airplane, or pop a bubble, or eat a particularly sweet strawberry? It’s kind of magic, right?

While some moments with your toddler will be challenging, or exhausting, or so frustrating you want to hop on a plane to Mexico and never return, try to lean into your child’s toddlerhood and embrace this period of time for what it is.

So, what’s the deal with toddlerhood?

The toddler years are a time for your little one to play, explore, and learn about the world around them. To cuddle and connect. To try new things and gain independence. So…

• Accept that your toddler will need to run and throw and climb.
• Accept that they won’t always listen to you and you may need to repeat yourself more often than you’d like. 
• Accept that your toddler will want to do things for themselves. And accept that it may take them half an hour to put on a single sock.

Don’t get me wrong. This is hard work. And it’s 100% okay if you’re not always thrilled with the realities of raising a toddler. It’s not easy!

But try to maintain realistic expectations for your little one. All those frustrating behaviors – the clinging, the tantrums, the not sleeping/eating/whatever – are normal and will pass.

Practical tips to help you embrace the toddler years:

• Remember that most challenging toddler behaviors – like climbing on furniture, dumping toys, or saying “no” – are developmentally appropriate and don’t need to be punished. If your child is doing something dangerous, you can redirect them to a safer activity, instead of punishing their curiosity.
• Give your child opportunities to meet their needs in a safe way. For example, if you don’t want your toddler climbing on the furniture, consider getting an indoor climber like a Pikler triangle or planning regular trips to the playground.
• Make a conscious effort to connect with your child in a positive way every day. Read a book, sing a song, play a game, cuddle, or have a conversation! These little moments often make the most meaningful memories. 

4 | Design a “yes” environment

Children need freedom – with limits – in order to explore, learn, and grow. A good way to support your child’s need for freedom is to turn your home into a “yes” environment.

You might be thinking, Wait a second. What exactly is a “yes” environment?

Basically, a “yes” environment is a space that provides safe and interesting ways for toddlers to explore freely.

This will look a little bit different in every home. But picture a living space where you don’t have to hover over your toddler, saying, “No, that’s not safe. Don’t touch that,” all day long. What changes would you need to make?

To turn your home into a “yes” space, you could try:

• Covering tempting wires or outlets in your home
• Installing safety locks on drawers or cabinets
• Storing fragile heirlooms or valuables out of your child’s reach
• Using a baby gate to block off stairs or unsafe rooms in your home
• Keeping interesting and age-appropriate toys and materials easily accessible to your child
• And so on…

Practical tips to create a “yes” environment at home:

• Toddler-proof your home – or at least, the spaces your toddler spends the most time in – to give your child a safe place to explore freely.
• Invest in toddler-friendly cooking, cleaning, and self-care materials so your child can be included in daily household tasks.
• Consider storing some toddler-safe household objects on your child’s level. For example, you could store pots and pans in a lower, unlocked shelf in the kitchen for your toddler to investigate.
• Say “yes” more often. Maybe you can go to the park today, read one more story, or play for 5 more minutes. Ask yourself, “Why not?” before saying “no” out of habit.

5 | Create order

Children love order. They like consistency, routine, and organization.

And, importantly, order helps children thrive.

Don’t believe me? Try moving a toddler’s carefully-placed block out of place. Or giving your child a puzzle that has pieces missing. If you’re bold, try switching up your toddler’s routine without notice.

Toddlers are naturally attracted to order. That’s one of the reasons that beautifully organized Montessori shelves are so appealing to little ones!

But your toddler is still learning. They need your help to create and maintain order in their lives. You don’t need to be perfectly organized, if you’re not naturally a neat freak. And you don’t need to follow a strict schedule that has no wiggle room.

That being said…

Following a consistent daily routine helps (a lot).

• Try to do things in the same general order every day to help your toddler know what to expect each day.
• You might be surprised to see how much more independent your toddler becomes once they know what activity comes next in the day!

Simplifying and organizing your child’s toys is another great idea.

• You can donate toys your child doesn’t play with anymore to help reduce clutter and overwhelm.
• Storing your little one’s toys on a well-organized Montessori shelf can also help. Montessori shelves are great for helping little ones see what toys are available to them at any given time.

Practical tips to help you create order:

• Follow a daily routine with your child. It’s okay to make little changes here and there, but in general, try to be fairly consistent so your toddler knows what to expect each day.
• Communicate clearly and often. Changes to your daily routine? Give your child a heads up! Is it almost time to leave the playground and head home? Let your toddler know they have a few more minutes to play. Keep them in the loop.
• Reduce toy clutter. Donate unwanted toys and give toy rotation a try. When your child has fewer toys available to them, they actually focus better and play for longer periods of time.
• Store toys in baskets or trays on a low, open toy shelf. This helps your child choose an activity more easily and allows them to practice putting things back in their proper place.
• Set limits and enforce them consistently. Your toddler needs to be able to trust that you’ll set limits to keep them healthy and safe – and know that you’ll actually follow through.

6 | Let your child be independent

“I do it!”

You’ve heard that phrase once or twice, right? (Probably when you were running late?)

The main goal of toddlerhood is to gain independence. Luckily, children love doing things for themselves and helping out around the house – if you let them.

Maria Montessori famously said, “Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.”

It follows that a huge part of practicing Montessori at home is getting out of your child’s way and letting them do more things independently. If you’re used to doing everything for your little one, you might be surprised at how capable your toddler really is!

Practical tips to help your child be more independent:

• Let your child struggle a little bit before swooping in to help them. If this is hard for you, try counting to 10 before stepping in to help. You might notice that your child often figures it out on their own by the time you get to 8!
• Invite your toddler to help with simple household tasks, like loading the laundry into the washing machine, rinsing the dishes, or helping prepare dinner. Make this a fun part of your regular routine with your little one!
• If you haven’t already, consider getting a step stool or kitchen helper tower to help your child play a more active role in your household and do more things for themself.

Recommended Products

7 | Slow down

Let’s be clear: The Montessori lifestyle isn’t fast-paced. It takes time to do things the Montessori way.

• Letting your child practice getting dressed takes time
• Inviting your child to pour a glass of water, clean up a spill, or help you make dinner takes time
• Preparing an engaging “yes” environment for your child takes time
• Following your child’s interests – and giving them time to get lost in meaningful exploration – takes time

So, if you’re looking for an easy way to get started with Montessori, slowing down is a great first step. Slowing down can help you practice mindfulness in your everyday life, allowing you to actually enjoy your time with your little one, instead of always rushing from point A to point B. 

Slowing down will also give your child time and space to practice self-help skills, like getting dressed, cleaning up toys, pouring a glass of milk, and so on. When you invest the time for your toddler to work on these skills early on, you end up with a more independent, capable child over time. 

Practical tips to help you slow down:

• Set aside extra time for your child to get ready in the morning and before bed. If you know it takes your child 15 minutes to get dressed, don’t try to force them to do it in 30 seconds!
• Let your child spend chunks of time practicing self-help skills. For example, a rainy Saturday could be a great opportunity for your toddler to master taking their socks off and putting them back on, over and over again, if that’s something they feel compelled to practice.
• Re-think your schedule if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Does your toddler really need to go to Mommy & me yoga, swimming, and toddler playgroup? Don’t be afraid to give your little one free time! They need it – and you do, too.
• Consider giving yoga or meditation a try if you have a hard time relaxing. Even a few minutes a day can help, and you can involve your toddler if you want. (Yoga board books can be helpful if you’re just getting started!)

Raising a Montessori toddler takes a little extra work – but the payoff is worth it.

If you want to simplify your life, enjoy your time with your little one more, and raise an independent and capable child, Montessori is a great choice for your family. Luckily, there’s no one right way to “do Montessori” at home. So, try not to stress about being perfect!

To recap, if you’re ready to get started practicing Montessori with your little one, here are a few things you can start working on today:

• Treat your child with respect
• Follow your little one’s interests
• Accept that your toddler is gonna be a toddler!
• Design a safe and engaging “yes” environment at home
• Create order in your child’s life 
• Give your toddler opportunities to be independent
• Slow down, simplify, and make time to enjoy your life

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, start by picking one or two areas to focus on first and go from there!

Remember: Slow progress is still progress. And positive changes – no matter how small or how few – are always a good thing.

Good luck, and feel free to reach out if you have questions!

♥ Meg 

Loved this post? Pin it!